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aussieca
Ensign
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#16 Posted: Thu Oct 4th, 2007 04:54 am |
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Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch: "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in! hpy0194hpy0194hpy0194hpy0194
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Sabby
Lieutenant
Sabby is a GOOD Girl
| Joined: | Wed May 9th, 2007 |
| Location: | Mt Airy |
| Posts: | 3129 |
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#17 Posted: Thu Oct 4th, 2007 10:18 am |
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| hystericalhystericalhystericalhystericalhystericalhysterical You two are killing me LOL
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Life is too short to sweat the petty stuff!!
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rompy
Deck Hand
| Joined: | Fri Sep 28th, 2007 |
| Location: | Brisbane, Australia |
| Posts: | 765 |
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#18 Posted: Thu Oct 4th, 2007 10:55 am |
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| hey aussieca your avatar looks like someone I know hystericalhystericalhysterical Attachment: 0005.gif
(Downloaded 10 times) Last edited on Thu Oct 4th, 2007 10:55 am by rompy
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aussieca
Ensign
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#19 Posted: Fri Oct 5th, 2007 01:38 am |
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I can understand that romps.....i do strike quite an imposing figure don't I...hpy0194hpy0194hpy0194hpy0194hpy0194
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rompy
Deck Hand
| Joined: | Fri Sep 28th, 2007 |
| Location: | Brisbane, Australia |
| Posts: | 765 |
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#20 Posted: Sat Oct 6th, 2007 11:25 pm |
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BAD FISHING JOKES
What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSH!!!! (I told you they were bad)
How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut it's nose off
What is the fastest fish in the sea?
Go-carp.
What did the mummy sardine say to her children when they saw a submarine?
Don't worry, it's only a tin of people.
If fish lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland.
What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool?
Show me your mussels.
How do you kiss a pike?
Very carefully
What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
What has big sharp teeth, a tail, scales, and a trunk?
A pike going on holiday.
Fly-fisherman's wife: "Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend"
tazclapping
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rompy
Deck Hand
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#21 Posted: Sun Oct 7th, 2007 11:13 am |
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woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper between them."
Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
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rompy
Deck Hand
| Joined: | Fri Sep 28th, 2007 |
| Location: | Brisbane, Australia |
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#22 Posted: Sun Oct 7th, 2007 11:14 am |
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| A guy named Benny is sitting in a bar mouthing off that he knows everybody. So his buddy bets $10 the next person to walk in the bar didn't know him. Somebody walks in the bar and says "Hey Benny what's up?" so the guy then bets him $100 he doesn't know the first person they see outside walking down the street. So they go outside and see some coming up to the bar and says "Hey Benny how are things going?". Flustered the guy bets him $500 he doesn't know the President. So they drive up to the white house and the security guard says "Benny you know you can't just show up here like this." Then a limo pulls up with the president in it and he rolls down the window and says "Hey Benny how have you been?" So then he bets him $1000 he doesn't know the Pope. So they take a plane down to Rome and he says" Ok now watch up there on that balcony I'm gonna come out there with the Pope." So he goes up there and looks down to see his friend pass out. He goes down there and says "Are you that surprised that I know the Pope?" he goes "No somebody walked behind me and said who's that guy up there with Benny!"
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