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Sunny Smiles
Lieutenant
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#1 Posted: Tue Sep 18th, 2007 01:39 pm |
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> > Subject: You know your middle age when
> >
> > You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.
> >
> > The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in the "ten items or less" lane.
> >
> > You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.
> >
> > You've found yourself discussing rain gutters.
> >
> > You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.
> >
> > You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.
> >
> > Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.
> >
> > You buy "age-defying" makeup and "antiwrinkle" creams and believe they work.
> >
> > You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.
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> > You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.
> >
> > As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo again.
> >
> > You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated Classic-"for the last time in a generation"
> >
> > You'd pay good money to be strip-searched.
> >
> > Wal-Mart and target seem to share your fashion sense.
> >
> > The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the patio and a sledgehammer.
> >
> > You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of underwear, five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into a carry-on bag-in less than five minutes.
> >
> > You know what Earth Shoes are.
> >
> > You think if you hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time your head will explode.
> >
> > Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles, but the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.
> >
> > On Saturday night, when your wife mentions "hot oil, a little friction, and squealing," you tell her you'll have the car looked at first thing Monday morning.
> >
>
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aussieca
Ensign
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#2 Posted: Thu Sep 20th, 2007 12:41 am |
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OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm middle-age already sad002.gif
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Lolls
Lieutenant
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#3 Posted: Wed Sep 26th, 2007 03:30 am |
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hahaha
this one haunts my dreams then I find out Im a day early 146
You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.
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rompy
Deck Hand
| Joined: | Fri Sep 28th, 2007 |
| Location: | Brisbane, Australia |
| Posts: | 765 |
| Status: |
Off Deck
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| MyPOTD: |   |
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#4 Posted: Fri Sep 28th, 2007 10:16 am |
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A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"
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rompy
Deck Hand
| Joined: | Fri Sep 28th, 2007 |
| Location: | Brisbane, Australia |
| Posts: | 765 |
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#5 Posted: Fri Sep 28th, 2007 10:17 am |
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An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, The jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over.
'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000' the jeweller said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man
stated, 'By cheque. I know you need to make sure my cheque is good,
so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the
funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.
Monday morning, the jeweller phoned the old man. 'There's no money in
that account.'
I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my weekend!
Don't mess with Old People.
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rompy
Deck Hand
| Joined: | Fri Sep 28th, 2007 |
| Location: | Brisbane, Australia |
| Posts: | 765 |
| Status: |
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#6 Posted: Fri Sep 28th, 2007 10:19 am |
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A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive after dark!"
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rompy
Deck Hand
| Joined: | Fri Sep 28th, 2007 |
| Location: | Brisbane, Australia |
| Posts: | 765 |
| Status: |
Off Deck
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#7 Posted: Tue Oct 2nd, 2007 02:43 am |
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hope this doesn't offend anyone, CLICK ON PICTURE,SOUND NEEDED.
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