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kanga
captain kanga-roo
| Joined: | Sat Feb 7th, 2009 |
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| Posts: | 2493 |
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#1 Posted: Thu Sep 2nd, 2010 03:16 pm |
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| I have a tender subject and is by no means meant to upset anybody. I just dont understand this at all and of course never being in a relationship like it i have no idea how it must feel. But why do women and i guess men for that matter stay in abusive relationships?
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crazylizzy
| Joined: | Sun Feb 22nd, 2009 |
| Location: | South Dakota USA |
| Posts: | 1795 |
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#2 Posted: Thu Sep 2nd, 2010 04:28 pm |
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| Good question and i think one that only a person in that situation can truly answer! Even then it would be for different reasons would be my guess. If children are involved then my guess it would be because of the kids. Maybe they are scared to leave? there must be some very controlling people out there or there would be no need for safe houses. I couldn't stay with someone who abused me but its one thing to say i wouldn't and another thing if i was in the situation.
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Sally-Anne
Ensign
| Joined: | Sat Jul 24th, 2010 |
| Location: | California USA |
| Posts: | 400 |
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#3 Posted: Thu Sep 2nd, 2010 05:15 pm |
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| I think they are so scared to leave in fear of what might happen if they try. Its easy to judge someone as silly if they stay its another thing to live in their shoes. Some people are real strong others not so strong.
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Wallaby
Ensign
Rick
| Joined: | Thu Aug 6th, 2009 |
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#4 Posted: Thu Sep 2nd, 2010 06:29 pm |
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| Kanga im so glad you said men as well because men can and will be abused by some women and in a physical way! My guess would also be that a woman or a man's self esteem would have to hit rock bottom at some stage in the relationship. I agree with crazylizzy its so simple to tell someone to get out than it for that person to act.
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TexasJo
Lieutenant
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#5 Posted: Thu Sep 2nd, 2010 09:44 pm |
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I have never been in an abusive relationship, but my bestfriend of 20 years was in an emotionally abusive relationship for a long time. Me looking in at what happened to her emotionally and how her self esteem was just taken away completely, was horrifying to watch. She is out of that relationship now, but she still has no self worth at all and is a completely different person to whom I have known all these years.
She wasn't a weak woman when she entered into the relationship, but he slowly chipped away at her and finally got her to where she is today, much to his satisfaction I must add!!!
I still don't understand to this day how it happened or how she let it happen...it is one of life's mysteries unless you are in that situation yourself, I guess.Last edited on Thu Sep 2nd, 2010 09:46 pm by TexasJo
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dahls
President Wannabe
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#6 Posted: Fri Sep 3rd, 2010 01:03 am |
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| I cant answer for everybody of course but experiencing it first hand i can only say why i stayed. I am a very strong person, maybe not as strong back then however i dont think it matter how strong you are because these people tent to pull you apart bit by bit without you even knowing it. First its the story im sorry honey it will never happen again then its im sorry honey but why do you do things that get so angry and before you know it your under their control. By that stage you have lost everything you once believed in because you get in a way programed to believe its all your fault to a degree. And then its i must leave and in most cases its you will never leave i will not allow it and you know what that means ! And yes Wallaby men do go through the same thing and in a funny sick way i feel so sorry for a man because people think men should be stronger but not all men can stand up and hit a woman back.
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JohnB
Ensign
| Joined: | Tue Apr 14th, 2009 |
| Location: | Las Vegas, Nevada USA |
| Posts: | 1316 |
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#7 Posted: Fri Sep 3rd, 2010 03:53 pm |
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| My Father was abusive to my Mother and i seen first hand as well how its happens:-( I remember my Aunt would tell Mum over and over again to get out but Mum never did, she didn't know what to do or where to go. Remember times were different as well back then, But im sure the emotional effect is still the same today.
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Belinda
Ensign
| Joined: | Tue Oct 27th, 2009 |
| Location: | USA |
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#8 Posted: Fri Sep 3rd, 2010 06:35 pm |
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| Its something i don't think anybody would ever understand unless they have lived through it and that alone is rather sad because im sure these people must go through hell with other family members and friends as well, im sure if their family and friends care they will be on their backs to move out and there is no point getting an intervention order out there not worth the ink they are typed in i know that for a fact!
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Tambo
Lieutenant
Tambo
| Joined: | Mon Aug 25th, 2008 |
| Location: | Brisbane, Australia |
| Posts: | 2615 |
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#9 Posted: Sat Sep 4th, 2010 02:25 pm |
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| My sister was in a relationship that she was scared to leave, it wasn't until one of my visits to OZ (many years ago) that I saw a bruise and confronted her in private and found out what was going on, i told her that next time he hit her let me know and he would be taken care of...she told me that I couldn't do anything from USA and told her they had telephones, and he would be taken care of... she finally left him...she just needed support and was afraid to ask...she hasn't looked back...her Daughter was not happy until her Dad came to live with her for a while, and she saw how manipulative he was...so she kicked him out too....
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